Hope

In one of my very first posts, I talked about a discussion group that I participate in: The Luminary Discussion Group. In this weekly discussion, we basically talk about becoming better people and helping others to become better people. Yesterday, our discussion began on the topic of hope. While we didn't talk about it in a familial context specifically. I have been impressed by the significance of our conversation in relation to families. 

First off, people are imperfect (shocker, I know). Families are made up of these imperfect people. This imperfect group of people is a part of God's perfect plan-- and not just for entertainment (although he must find some of our issues amusing). We were put together to help each other change, grow, and fulfill our potential. What can be a recipe for disaster can also be the greatest masterpiece of eternity. However, I think that we need a vision of what we can be. We need to begin to see one another as we truly are. 

What are we? We are children of God. 

How do we really see each other as brothers and sisters with a spiritually divine nature?

We have faith. We have hope. 

If only those words could convey all the depth and meaning behind them. Yesterday, during the Luminary Discussion, we tried to hash out what hope is. 

First, a portion of a cnn article I recently discovered called "How Hope can Heal You": 

"There is a thin line between hope and denial, and that line is an unwavering commitment to truth and reality.
Groopman writes: "False hope does not recognize the risks and dangers that true hope does. False hope can lead to intemperate choices and flawed decision making. True hope takes into account the real threats that exist and seeks to navigate the best path around them."
Both Lopez and Bidwell emphasize that hope is not about positive thinking. Hope is half optimism, Lopez explains. The other half is the belief in the power that you can make it so.
There is a profound difference between hoping and wishing, he continues. Wishing encourages passivity, whereas hope represents an active stance.
'Wishing is the fantasy that everything is going to turn out OK. Hoping is actually showing up for the hard work.'"

Though though some parts of these statements triggered strong feelings both in agreement and disagreement, it led to some pretty fantastic insights within our discussion group:

• Hope is lively 
• Hope is what makes change possible 
• Hope is an essential part of Christ's Atonement
• Hope is inextricable tied with faith and charity
• Hope allows us to be humble and trust God to focus our efforts
• Hope makes us happy 
• Hope encourages action

These comments sound simple; it's a concept that's impossible to cover with words, but it's powerful. 

We talked about blended families (for example, a divorced mother with two children marries a widowed father) this week in my Family Relations class. What a difference it would make for these family's to have hope. A hope based on seeing each other as we really are and having a vision of what we can become. Families unite based on the idea that it's possible. If it weren't possible, it wouldn't be worth working for. 

Uniting a family (blended or 100% biologically related) is a matter of hope. It is the secret, proactive ingredient that makes a masterpiece out of an imperfect group of people. Hope is active. It is actively learning and moving forward knowing that you can become better. 

So hope a little, eh?
  

What is the Purpose of Parenting?

In a world that's constantly changing, how could we possibly know how to raise children?

Sometimes this question terrifies me and makes me wonder how I could ever have children. Pornography, violence, murder, immorality, and an overall decline in values are a few of the things I'm concerned about. However, I also know that there is a foundation on which we can build our families in a way that will bring joy and satisfaction to our lives.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints sent out "The Family: A Proclamation to the World"in 1995. It provides valuable, essential information for raising a family. It declares:

“Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, to teach them to love and serve one another, to observe the commandments of God and to be law-abiding citizens wherever they live.”

This is the duty and the purpose of parents, to bring their children to God. How do we best do that? In my Family Relations class we recently talked about doing this through encouragement. We also discussed its origin, which I found very enlightening. Here's the break down:

Encourage: 

[en]- a prefix expressing entry into a specified state or location

[cour]- a french root meaning "to strengthen the heart"

[age]- a suffix denoting either the product or sphere of an action

[We focused on the french root of the word "cour" (I looked up the rest), but I found the entire breakdown helpful.]

To help our children love-- we must encourage them through our love for them. 

To help our children be righteous-- we must encourage them by our own righteous example.

To help our children serve-- we must encourage them by serving them and serving with them.
To help our children abide by laws-- we must encourage them by abiding by laws.

To help our children keep God's commandments-- we must encourage them by keeping the commandments ourselves. 

The location in which we strengthen our children is their hearts. However, as the suffix "age" suggests, this is a product of action on both the parent and the child. Parent's have the duty to bring truth unto the hearts of the children and the children have the duty to bring it into their hearts. 

The purpose of parenting, the privilege of parents, is to teach their children in love and righteousness. It simply comes down to . . .

Practice what you preach. 

How do we raise children in this world? We become the example that they need. We encourage them by showing them first hand the blessings that come from living based on the truths we know. We encourage them by admitting that we're not perfect, but that we're always trying to live God's commandments and these principles of love, righteousness, and service.

The LDS Church provides further insight: Parenting.  

Human Capital: The World Economic Staple

Parents insist they love all of their children equally for different reasons. Teachers preach that everyone is special in their own way. Church meetings welcome everyone as a unique individual with potential. Politicians repeatedly promise they have everyone's diverse needs on their agenda. Girls pat each other on the back saying, "Girl, forget him. You deserve so much better," after a breakup. Boys slap each other on the rear saying, "Dude, you got this," before plays in a big football game. Grandmothers will forever pinch our cheeks saying, "Well, aren't you just the cutest!"

Why?

         Because it's truth.

Okay, maybe not all truth, but the underlying principle is. We all have value. We all have different cards to bring to the table. Some of us have acquired more cards, skill, or experience than others; regardless, when 2+ people get together, they have substantially more human capital than a lone individual.

A couple books that I've recently read illuminate the value of human capital and interaction:

Jonah Lehrer explores the creative benefits, one form of human capital, that come from our interaction with one another in his novel  Imagine . Even the exposure to another's human capital seems to produce powerfully innovative results. Lehrer quotes Geoffrey West, a former physicist at Standford University and Los Alamos National Laboratory, saying, "When people come together they become much more productive per capita. They exchange more ideas and generate more innovations. What's truly amazing is how predictable this is." This is why cities, he argues, are the most important invention in human history. This is why, I argue, the family is the most important institution within those cities. Family's are the garden for the growth of human capital. Others may say that it's in the education system. I say that the family is the education system. As I stated in my previous post, the home is where we learn to learn.

The Alchemist, by Paulo Coehlo, presents some intriguing insights on the value of each person. "Each person forms its own exact function a unique beings . . . It is we who nourish the Soul of the World, and the world we live in will be either better or worse, depending on whether we become better or worse." Where does an individual first learn to become better or worse? In the home. In the Family. Our society will become better or worse depending on what we teach our children.

The innovation, morals, work ethic, social skills, resourcefulness, and resilience-- a few elements of human capital-- originate in the home. These are the elements that drive our economy and society forward. People are our greatest resource. Why, then, are we bringing less of them into the world?

Demographers have come out with some frightening statistics about declining fertility rates. While the world population continues to rise-- a result of lengthened lifespans-- birthrates have dramatically decreased. As our older generation begins to die off, our population will peak and then is predicted to steadily decline. Just as population can exponentially growth, it can exponentially decrease. Are we to fear extinction??? No... that's a little dramatic, but one thing we do have to fear is social and economic decline. You see, a decline in people means a decline in human capital-- a decline in innovation, work force, support, and skill diversity.

Dr. Paul Ehrlich promoted the idea of declining population in 1968 as the author of The Population Bomb. He alerted the world to the possibilities of extreme pollution, devastating environmental degradation, and mass starvation as a result of overpopulation. The effects of overpopulation, according to Ehrlich, would surely destroy the world if we reached 5 billion people. Did Ehrlich's predictions come to pass? In short, no. We're sitting at a comfortable 7 billion people right now. Is there pollution? Yes. Is there environmental degradation? Yes. Is there starvation? Yes. But human capital is at an all time high. The technology boom is one obvious example. It has made information more available than it has ever been. Communication and interaction has been taken from a local to a world wide scale for anyone with a computer or telephone. Ideas are being exchanged at a rate that Ehrlich would not have believe even if he had seen it coming. New, promising solutions to age old problems are being explored. These are the results of increased population, increased human capital.

Producing human capital comes down to having children and rearing them in a positive home environment. This positive home environment will be repeatedly explored in future posts. If you would like to know more about the fertility decline, its causes and effects, and how it's linked to a decline in families and children, please visit this link for a fabulous documentary: Demographic Winter.

And finally, for your enjoyment, Let's Get Together.